Saturday, 10 August 2013

Not in Kansas anymore .....

So here the thing.... I would regard myself as a pretty normal gal! I have a cupboard full of vitamins I will never take, my fridge is full of the 'good' food I should eat and the 'not so good' that is devoured at 12 midnight...whilst running for the bus that I am invariably late for I ladder stockings and become puffed in the face....I give my seat (on the bus that I was late for) to the elderly, pregnant and infirmed...and I always...yes always thank the bus driver when I get off said bus....(I know it's their job but hey it doesn't hurt to be nice) .....

So having moved cities I thought that apart from a different bus route and some new vitamins I would be able to cope with most of what was laid ahead of me.....until it came to the men In this town........

On the social stage ...they didn't quite get me at all....when introduced they would shy away....in clubs it almost appeared that there where two different sides....males oneside females the other.....they didn't approach...make eye contact NOTHING......

Now whilst I regard myself as normal.....I am also extremely sexual....I have needs that I am sure most girls have but do not admit....and to be honest the lack of male attention / contact was in fact driving me insane....

What to do???? Always having met my 'significant others' or my many '12 hour love of my life romances' through friends or by flirting outrageously on a club floor I was a little bit shaken, actually more worried .... In fact down right scared that I would have to resort to late night phone sex to my ex and others in my phone contacts back in what I now see as my own sweet sweet 'Kansas' ..... yes indeed Dorothy you were right....there is no place like home and the Emerald city is crap .... However unlike Dorothy who melted witches with buckets of water I was dousing myself in them EVERY SINGLE DAY !

Until a friend suggested that I try an Adult Dating Website .....  So here is where my story begins .... I haven't as yet met any flying mutant monkeys...tin men or talking cowardly lions HOWEVER my experiences thus far have been enlightening...strange, eye popping in one case saw me tap my red shoes rapidly together screaming 'there is no place like home' .... However there has been a few that has seen me get down on my knees and praise the great and powerful Wizard of the Internet for creating this wonderful tool !

I need to clarify I did not repeat did not go on the site just write about it .... But after a few conversations with my friend who signed me ... Me asking 'Soooo here's the thing....this happend ... Do u think that's normal..' my friend said ....'you have to blog this' ......

So my here I go ..... My confessions .....enjoy ;)

Slinky ! Xx